Waking Up - Day 2

Today is day #2 without trying to lie and hide what I am really feeling.  I expect it to be a hard one.  I took the day off of work to spend the day with my spouse.  She is heartbroken over my continued actions in life.  One would think I would learn a lesson after 21 years of being together, but the lying is a protective, compulsive thing.

i know I need to slow down my thinking and take things one moment at a time.  But it is so hard to do when you know everything you know and love is at risk.  The desire to cover it all up with a few words is strong.

i can do this.  I know I can!  If I don’t I risk losing whatever I have left of myself.