Wakeful

The littlest of light. Tiny, small, dainty...it's light, and it shines. The air is weighless.
It's possible to imagine anything in the dark. Standing in the middle of the room.
Eyes begin adjusting to the change from light to darkness. Everything is peaceful and soundless.
Finding my way to my bed without bumping into things, I start to scare myself with the thought of something creepy lingering behind me. Running for my bed, I make it. Laying myself down, bringing the sheets from my bed up above my head. Making somewhat of misshapen tent around me. Laughing at my ridiculous self. But the truth be told, I'll be staying in here tonight, no questions asked.
I began tracing shapes above me with my fingertips. Spelling words out in the air, letter after letter. Drawing stars. Ways to entertain myself before bed. Endless, sleepless nights...never able to sleep. My mind won't ever let me rest with it's ongoing thoughts and daydreams. It can never be simply enough, for once. 
In the dark it's so possible. Truly. Pretending or thinking unrealistic things...your mind begins to think it's possible for something to be there in the dark, when quite honestly, it probably isn't.
Like when I pretend you are there, facing me. You can be, can't you? All I want is just to feel you breathe, reach out, feel your body heat. You against me. My fingers and lips to brush against your beautiful skin. Grab hold of your hand and not let it go for a single second, I'd be afraid to lose. Melting. I'd do just about anything to feel you are there.
 
The thought bringing goosebumps to my skin. I smile bright, yet it doesn't last because it's simply but a thought. An endless one.
I start twisting the ring around my finger. Repeat...repeat. Anything to feel less lonely, I find. Closing my eyes, just me in the empty hollow of the room. It's actually comforting, warm...for once. I release myself from the clutches of the sheets suffocating me. Not so scared anymore.The sun will be coming up soon. I wait for it to arrive. Tapping my fingers against my wrist. It's not long before the seconds slip into an hour. Still laying flat against my bed, feeling light against the air that is facing me...like I could float away if I don't grab hold of something.
Everything that's happened, IS happening, passing around in my mind.
Over-thinking. And it only seems to get worse. I think far too much. I dream far too much, I don't like facing reality...I'd rather just pretend, and live in the little world of my own.
 
The sun is coming in...finally. The colorful bottles in my windowsill start to come alive. Reflecting colorful light throughout the room.
It's beautiful. All the colors become more bright as the morning drowns on. My eyelids feeling heavy as I begin to lose the fight to stay awake, which by all means is a good thing. I love nothing more than to sleep. I would sleep my life away if only I could. And then I begin to find tiny dreams capturing my mind.
Dreams that aren't real; dreams that can never ever be.