Waiting
Waiting is one of my trippiest triggers. Perhaps the baddest of the bad girls. Whatever it be that I be waiting for, my anticipation creates havoc in every chamber of my psychic maze. What if. . . It's a sign. . . Did I forget to? ? ? Should I have? ? ? Will I be able to? ? ? Have I made good choices? Am I going to get yet another lesson in being careful what I wish for? What if. . .
This morning I am waiting on 15 windows, 3 exterior doors and 1 interior door for what we hope will soon be an official food grade honey barn. Hubs is at his internet security workshop. It is one of those intensive workshops that can make Marine Corps boot camp look like a Renaisance Fair, but he is still as antsy about it as I am. He engaged in some pouting over the work being scheduled during the week he commited to before he signed the contract for this piece of his busy life. I wonder if that was divine intervention from the healing mysteries. I tend to let Hubs take over and recuse myself from the job site when Hubs is around. I remain thoroughly phobic on mixing wifery with engineering. It's hard to wear both sets of expectations at the same time. Are the healing mysteries attempting to heal that Great Divide? We see. It's not the only "could be" stirring in my anticipation anxiety this morning.
Why is my driveway still empty?
Just breathe. Declench muscles. Just breathe.
Replies
Taking deep, slow, stabilizing breaths with you this morning, Arfie. I could not agree more about waiting. I feel exactly the same.
Honestly, I’m I in that place right now. My first DBT appointment is this afternoon & the waiting for it has my heart beating a furious pace as if I’m a racehorse rearing in the gates & chopping at the bit, pun in a tiny metal box, waiting for those door to spring open and release me.
Waiting has always always been so testing for me. Brain runs on massive flood of adrenaline and electric shocks, and I just feel frantic.
With you Arfie, lots of hugs, love, support, & deep deep breaths!
I hate waiting...as I got older, I am more impatient. I would have thought an older person would be more patient. Not me! Hang in there! Deep breaths.
Thank the cosmos this wait was brief. Hubs called to share the anxiety as I pushed the "Send" on this post. Our zaney recital of impatience platitudes were interrupted by 3 trucks and a trailer coming up the driveway.
Now to give them room to work with as few distractions as possible. In you, I trust, gentlemen.
Can I play in your trailer while you set up?
Beehaving now. . .
Hurraa! They have arrived!
Oh yay here comes the honey barn! Congrats on waiting it out and best wishes triple hugs of celebratory support
Day one has me happy dancing. Is giving other people room to work even harder than doing the work yourself?
Never mind. . .
Breathing and tapping. . .