waiting........

Patience is a virtue.  Between reminding myself of that and rehearsing the Serenity Prayer over and over again these last few days have made the situation with my baby boy easier to deal with.  Although he isn't testing positive, he's not working in school, doesn't come home after school or for dinner, and is gone for long periods of time - the writing is on the wall that he's doing something.  Saw some talk on-line that there has been some drinking - although we have NEVER seen him drunk or knowingly seen him under the influence - he needs some intervention.   And because we don't have solid proof (positive drug screens or have seen him high or drunk) I have strong conflicting emotions about him being sent away.  In the past I couldn't wait.  Maybe because he was sooo bad.  And because this time his behaviour doesn't compare to what he was like before......emotionally I am struggling.  The prayer, however, gave me the courage to call his probation officer today to give him the run down as to what has been happening.  I talked to his case worker and he said he's going to recommend a house arrest for our son until a bed is open at the 90 day facility.  It didn't hit me until after I got off of the phone with him.  House arrest!!  And who will be under house arrest, too?  Last time he was on house arrest he had friends deliver heroin to our house.  He was also arrest here at home.  I don't think I can stand the thought of having him here under our feet 24/7.  So I called the case worker back and wasn't able to get a hold of him.  T has been doing this - not coming home routine- for months.  I think we can sweat it out until he's accepted in residential.  I hope he listens to me.....    Oh -- and the on-line school was handed to him on a silver platter.....and now he's saying he doesn't want to do it and that he's now trying in school.  Two out of his 4 teachers (chemistry and history) tell us that when he is in class - he's respectful, participates, and would do awesome if he'd only do the make-up work.  T-Man just doesn't get it.  PO also says he doesn't have a choice and must do this on-line school. Haven't heard from the on-line school, yet!  T will have to attend there until there is an opening for residential and I hope we hear from them soon.  Also -T doesn't know that the director of the residential program is going to be calling any day to interview him on the phone.  He was told that if he does go there it won't be until mid November.  He always seems to accept what is told him, initionally, until reality sets in.....  I know this is going to be tough one.  If he doesn't cooperate - the alternative is the youth correctional center.  I hope he makes the right decision....