Voices
I am 20 year old. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and major depression. I have been hearing voices in my head. A voice of a man who ruined my life and the voice of my mother who convinced me that I am stupid fat ugly good at nothing and have no friends. It has gotten to the point where I just can't leave my room and I always want to be alone. It makes me cry. I know they aren't there but I hear them. I hear them like if they where in the room with me. I think I'm crazy. I haven't told anyone because I don't want to be locked away in a hospital. There are times where the voices tell me to hurt myself. I don't know what to do. I have gone to therapy before but that only made the voices louder. What do I do? What have I done to deserve this?
Replies
Not everyone who hears voices gets hospitalized. Sometimes it is just a matter of medication, and the right type of therapy. If your voices got worse when you were in therapy, then that suggests to me that perhaps your therapist was moving at too fast a pace for you, and things needed to be slowed way down. It's ok to go to therapy and talk about these voices, and tell the therapist that you need to move at your own pace or the voices will get worse. You've done nothing wrong....the voices are simply a normal response to an abnormal situation. Don't be afraid to get help, just be sure to speak up for yourself and move at a slow pace that is safe for you and the voices. Hang in there...it can get better.
Please talk to your therapist and explain everything to her. When the voices are the loudest and when you feel the worst. I agree that your therapist may be going to fast, but talk to him or her and just ask then to help you understand what is happening. I will be praying that you can find the help you need.