victim.........

so on saturday i had a few flashbacks....the autistic boy that i used to babysit for, E, was there....and that's always expected....so i picked up a toy and went to put it away and he stopped me....he played with my hair, which was fine ,but then he just hit me in the chest....like 15 times.....and it hurt soooo much!!!!!!!! his aide rushed over and was like,"nice hands.." and looked at me and i just went over to the sink to get a drink of water and like rubbed my boobs, because that's where he hit me and he really hurt me.....i had some flashbacks of my rapes after that and about his attacks....i dunno, it kinda felt like i wasn't able to stop ANYTHING.....the rapes, the attacks that he did, the hitting that eh unleashed on me for no good reason....i tried to find a reson why he hit me....like maybe he remembered me from babysitting him and he knew that i couldn't do anything and just hit me.....it made me feel like a victim all over again...NOT a good feeling