Very Upset and Feeling Alone

Most of you know that I have been having Depression issues lately.  I tried to fulfill a dream this week and it didn't happen. This upset me a lot inside because of what I thought this trip would accomplish but, it was not to be.  Yesterday, I lost a good friend and today things did not go good for me either.
I guess I have become a pest and a instrument of stress to some here that mean very much to me.  So, to them I apologize and I will refrain from bothering them.  I have made the decision to kind of stay on the sidelines for a while.  I have such a desire to help people, to be there for people, to encourage people and show genuine love for people but, I guess I am too overbearing and I get too involved.  I apologize to any of you who read this and that I have caused any stress or heartache.
My nerves are on edge, my depression is bad and, I am very sad and hurt inside.  I feel I am in no shape to be much of a friend or of help to anyone.
I love you all but, I can't keep this pace up, I can't handle the feeling of being pushed aside when all I have done is to try and show true, genuine, love.  Funny, my wife says I have a misconception of what love is and, what a friend is.  Maybe she is right.  I will be around but, a lot less.  I guess some may get a feeling of relief when they read this, that is, if they bother to read it.  I guess I am too old to understand and too dumb to read between the lines.