very sad realization

my husband had his long awaited surgery today, the event, that according to him, would be the beginning of the end of his need for oxy.  as his anxiety levels re:this operation soared so did insane bizarre behaviors and pill intake. frankly i am surprised he was  cleared for surgery this a.m. as i believe his bloodlevels were already at supersaturation point.
anyway the operation was a success in the doctor's eyes  so i do the wifely duty of waiting ALL DAY LONG falling asleep in the crappy little chair in his room once he was discharged from recovery, went home for one hour to return to the freakin meanest s.o.b. ever born. my son was with me and i am so glad because i had someone witness how negative( A gentle word) he is . now, i am aware that anesthesia can be freaky, but i have never been in such a bad place with someone EVER. it was a very sad, and tragic look into his soul. i can't stay. my son does not understand why i am not already long gone.
my son also commented on how i kept trying to "please" him (really by doing the things you might do for any one,) the more i tried to make him happy the more abusive he became. my son said we should have cut the visit short at the second major insult. and he was right.    aarg this so sucks.