Very Depressed & Alone. Need Friends badly.
I'm feeling very depressed and alone. I have severe chronic pain issues and today (this morning) the pain is unbearable, mostly my back and left hip/flank area. Pain meds aren't helping. I feel pressured to feel better b/c my my mom is not well, nor is my s-father. Their coffee pot broke and they need a new one asap, and I'm the only person they have to help them. I know needing a coffee pot must sound so trivial, but to them it's important. I absolutely cannot function enough to get dressed and get into my car and drive, to shop for a coffee pot, or groceries or anything at this point. I'm uninsured, or I'd go to an emergency room in search of additional help for the pain I have. Also, I wouldn't be able to sit for hours and wait in an ER waiting room anyway b/c the pain is just too bad. I have no friends and no other family to help me with my mom and s-dad. I feel totally overwhelmed. I'm praying hard to Jesus to take the pain I have away and to send me comfort. I need friends in a big way, just for emotional support. I'm not one to ask anyone else to "help" with caregiving... I feel that I've lost a lot of friends b/c of the situation I'm now in... Living in my parent's home is not conducive to dating, or having friends. They cannot come into my parent's home and I have too much pain to go out most of the time. I'm praying for Help.
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I sense alot of hopelessness ..I feel this as well. I know they say to start feeling grateful as then it raises your vibrations like.. like attracted to like. Positivity and Negativity ,since my husbands death i feel so hurt..anguish and where i am living right now is almost unbearable as my Daughter in law is openly hostile with me. She has many issues and i am trying so hard not to judge her or dislike her because i know deep down shes extremely scared of something to make her act rudely..she has been like this for 20 years though but i never lived with her before. I feel its a learning experience on how to treat people.But i am now getting to a point where maybe my own place with my own dirt is better then constantly putting up with her attitude. My son ignores her usually and when she goes crazy he tells her what to do with it..there's a lot of negativity around here,and i am not going to be a part of it much longer..i hope i have learned patience and that when i leave i have taught her empathy or something as she has taught me. I actually do love her more now..weird but true.