venture in sobriety

Today I took my 12-year-old sister Casey to the Renaissance Fair.  This is normally an event I would go to primarily to walk around the park, with a Guinness and a turkey leg, and proceed to catch a stable buzz throughout the day while we enjoyed the shows and exhibits.  This year I wanted it to be different.  I decided I to wanted to create a memory with my sister that she would have of me NOT drinking.  And hopefully, keep on creating more of these kinds of memories until one day all of the memories she has of seeing me drinking or getting drunk will slowly fade to the back of her mind.  Maybe she won't ever recall there was a "Drunk Jill" and then a "Normal Jill".  Maybe she won't even notice, maybe it won't even matter, or maybe she will grow up and think, "I remember a time when every time I saw my sister she had a beer in her hand and then something must've happened because then I never saw her with a beer again." I was really anxious to go this year because I highly doubted I could be there and not drink.  Afterall, this was a day for ME to have fun.  It's supposed to be about my enjoyment.  And what's the point if I can't have EVERYTHING there that's going to make my time enjoyable.  But it wasn't so bad.  I did stare at the beer booths and I did watch people sip from frothy beers but I looked at that little girl and I remembered why I was there.  I was there for her.  I was there because I wanted to be with her and I wanted her to remember that I take her here every year.  Yes, it wasn't the same as it had been in previous years.  It wasn't the same because for the first time I was more concerned about her time there than my own.  That's what it always should've been about anyways.