Venting!!! UGHH........

I know I talk about migraine auras mimicking strokes a lot. But theyre so scary to me. I don't like having them at all. I hate it with a flaming passion. Theyre horrible. I don't think anyone can understand what it feels like to have one unless they go through them themselves. It's extremely terrifying, and they come on all of the sudden like a stroke does, and they have a lot of the same symptoms as a stroke. Everytime i have one, i always end up calling an ambulance, because im extremely terrified that if i dont go to the hospital im gonna die, even though deep down i know that wont happen. I try to think about all the other times ive had an aura and i havent died. Ive probably had about 30 auras in my life so far, and im still alive. I try to think of this when im experiencing one, but its so hard because it seems like all my logic goes out the window and all i can think is OH NO IM HAVING A STROKE ahhhhhhhhh!! When in reality im not. And then when the ambulance comes and the EMTs come get me and take me to the hospital i feel like such a retard. And then when the DR comes in to look me over and im sitting there with a huge headache, i feel even worse. And then the DR ends up telling me theyre not going to do a CT scan, it hurts my feelings, but i know deep down its because i really dont need one.
I didnt get a CT scan when i had one when i was 11, and i didnt get one when i had one when i was in High school that one day. And i also didnt get one all the other times i had one until i had the auras this year. And i think its because this year has been a horrible year for me with anxiety.
I think that sense my PTSD has been so bad its been causing me to get more of those hellish migraine auras. And i also think its because my arm goes numb and that never used to happen with my migraine auras until this year. I've had 5 or 6 this year so far. I only had 1 or 2 last year. I gues the reason why i am writing this is to show myself that ive had the migraine auras many times before and nothing bad has happened to me. I havent died yet, obviously. And they dont last forever. I wish i could tell myself that when i get one though. I am very sick of calling an ambulance every single time i get one, when i really dont need to.