Venting to myself...

I'm feeling horribly discouraged right now. I am a HIGHLY motivated person. Not much has gotten in the way of the goals, except for this. This stupid, annoying, horrible thing. After endo and it's complications stole my ballet career from me, I finally found another passion and form of expression. These past two years I have been working my ass off to make something of myself and to transfer to one of the top art schools in the country. This past semester great things were in the works; I was nominated for a top national scholarship, I recived a local scholarship, I recieved high honors, and I got fantastic reviews of my work from admissions reps of my dream school. Everything was finally turning around. Now, I'm in the second week of my last semester at community college, and SO eager to finish well here and hopefully get into my schools with scholarship.
Of course it is striking again, now of all times. My energy has been completely drained from me and I am in pain all day. This is one of the few things that can knock down my motivation, an I hate that it has that power. Projects that under different circumstances would have excited me and stimulated my creativity are right now just making me tired thinking about them. I have no desire to do anything but sleep. I'm officially the 20-year-old old lady, as my friend calls me. I leak pee, have extreme urgency and frequenchy problems, frequent to constant pain, painful sex, and no energy. You know what the only thing my body seems to feel like doing? Eating. Which sucks because I finally was exactly at the weight I wanted to be and now I'm stuck lying around and having time to eat. People get tired of hearing you complain. I'm not even a typical heavhy complainer, but feeling like this all the time? That will turn anyone into one. I'm SO frustrated.
 
I'm so worried about school. I feel so SO not good this week and I have 6-hour long (standing) studio classes almost every day :( How the hell am I going to do this? I don't have time for appointments either. I have to miss an entire half of a six hour class (counts as a full absence) because it is literally the only time I can see my doctor and it's only the second freaking week of the semester! What if I have to see other doctors or get other things done? I don't have the time and I can afford to drop a class! I also need a 4.0 this semster to bring my gpa as close to a 4.0 total as possible for scholarship reasons. UGH. This is going to be SO rough. I'm nervous my doctor will want me to have another surgery... I seriously don't know where I could pull that time from! I am in classes everyday and already have two summer classes I need to take which end right in time to move away and start my new school's foundation pre-req. Seriously freaking out. I don't know what the hell I can possibly do about this. I refuse to let this take another dream away from me, but how can I be productive in anything I do when I feel like this all the time? It's not fucking fair. I can be grateful that I don't have some sort of more legitimate life-threatening disease like cancer, but thinking like that almost makes it worse. Or guilty maybe? I don't know. I just feel so frustrated, how did I end up here AGAIN? Can't it just hold off for two years?!
 
UGHHHHH.