Venting and possible PMDD
Today hasn't been a bad day - neither was yesterday. But I feel like crap. I feel such low self esteem despite the things I have to be proud of. The slightest annoyance is setting me off the edge. And I feel like I can't talk with my husband about it since he's saddled with tons of his own stress and pain and struggle. I feel like I'm annoying him (and everyone else) with my irrational mood swings.
I know that emotions arent' rational. I know that what I'm feeling doesn't make "sense", but I feel it nonetheless. 3 out of 4 weeks every month I'm overwhelmed, can't focus, super moody and short tempered. I lose motivation to do things and slog through every day without any sense of purpose.
And it's not like I don't try. I go to the gym to try to get my endorphins up and move my body. I try to eat a balanced diet (junk food included, but healthy food too). I have a journal. I'm trying to keep my mind occupied with learning things like ASL and tarot cards. I do socialize with friends and I don't miss work. I keep up with basic chores so it doesn't overwhelm me more.
bleh. just bleh.
Replies
I know how you feel... Whether or not emotions are rational based on the evidence at hand, it doesn't change the fact that they exist and can either help or fuck up our mindset. It sounds like you're doing a lot of really cool things to get your mind off of how you feel. Have you ever tried meditation? I'm doing it on a daily basis and I've found it's helping me to chill and focus. I know how appealing it is to just be "go go go" all the time, but sometimes taking a minute (or fifteen) to just breathe and be still can help. Just a thought ☺ take care
Thank you very much. I've been trying to take time to breathe and just quiet my mind when I remember to - especially when I'm outside walking my dog. Taking in the fresh air, listening to the sounds of "nature" (I live near the center of town, so there's plenty of traffic sounds too). I guess I haven't really made time for meditation, nor do I always have the attention span for it, but it does sound calming. maybe tonight I'll do some coloring since that has a similar effect on the mind. I really appreciate you listening and understanding.
I helped a woman change a flat tire this morning, yet I still feel overwhelmingly horrible today. I really don't like it. I've tried PMS medicine, having lunch, chocolate ... nothing seems to have a lasting effect. Just guess I'll chalk it up to a crappy day and try to find the patience for it to end. I have to remember that this isnt' permanent and it'll get better if I just wait.