Vent vent vent vent
Gee could this be a venting post? Yes. It must be call Heidi and scream at her day. On top of that I am nursing myself out of aserious head cold, and I can't shake it. I made a doctor's appointment for today but cancled it, because it isn't smart to walk two miles in the rain while sick just to get medicine. My medical tranzit has fixed my problem with professionalizm and has recieved nothing but praise and respect from me on my part, because I will not deal with the workers, I directly automatically ask for their supervisor. It's the only way they hear me as a patient, and not see me as another number or pain in the ** to pick up again for a two or one mile hke. Now that it is official I am now declared phisically and mentally disabled in the state of New Jersey, maybe my food won't be taken away. I am already on governement suppliment, because I would not be able to function in a hostile work enviornment, or a non hostile work enviornement, because of the way I lived my entire life. Now that it's changed for the worse, I must find ways to cope with this situation in the positive ways I promised to try to be. SO I asked for hobbies and refills of new hobbies to work on while I relax to heal. Now my fav is to just pound clay out of pure frustration, so I don't get the neighbors concerned again. Everyone learned about my overdose, from me, while I spoke to each crew or my neighbor friends. I've lived here since I was ninteen years old, say what you want about me, but that says something positive about my true character to be stable in a home for that long and be friends with everyone in the co that I am concidered family now, and not shut out like my own does to me. I am welcome at parties, I feel relaxed, and social, and not hiding in my old agoraphobic ways...
Things have changed I expected it with Satrun causing chaos in the Earth's atsmophere for the first time in twenty eight years, creating change. It will settle once it moves on and does it rotation thang. LOL. Part of my religion is to learn directions, and folllow the stars, learn them, and know where it rises, when it sets, all that neat stuff.
I made my christmas plans and will follow through not celebrating christmas this year with my family in their church. I am celebrating with my friends in my church and having a bon fire after with two of my best friends for over a decade. I will go through with it, because my other friends have taken care of *** talking suicide over and over, causing a hinderence in my recovery of my overdose. I told him myself first, then my buddy from the group was going to have everyone adress his laungage in front of a child we all look after, and especially me, because we have a a great pupil teacher, friendship always observed by his mother, and now he can call me anytime on my landline, and we can speak with his mother's dialing me first, then we can chat while she is on the line. This is very imporntant to me, as this is my first real family with children that well second, that allows me into their lives, based soly on who I am, because they love me. It's just I have more in common often with children, because my mind never developed when I got sick too young to understand the way adults are mean and think that way, so my mind is that of a very young person, who has many commonalities as children, such as video games, coloring, activities and also having an adult mind at times, by the books I read, and the attention I spend reading and on self improvement. I do one thing everday to self improve and it is working on my self asteem. I am now no longer meek and mild around my agressive bitter nasty sister. I assert myself, and stand on my own two feet not competing with her, but just being happy for who I am and what I am accomplishing. I am going to live and survive, only now with the help of D.S untill I am in a place for help, I will not have to fight so hard to live. I almost have a month free. Love you guys, Sorry my responses are slow, I've been bed ridden with this cold, and untill I feel better responsis will be slower yet untill I heal. Love your friend, Heidi
ps I am legally blind in one eye so I raise the txt so I can read it.
Things have changed I expected it with Satrun causing chaos in the Earth's atsmophere for the first time in twenty eight years, creating change. It will settle once it moves on and does it rotation thang. LOL. Part of my religion is to learn directions, and folllow the stars, learn them, and know where it rises, when it sets, all that neat stuff.
I made my christmas plans and will follow through not celebrating christmas this year with my family in their church. I am celebrating with my friends in my church and having a bon fire after with two of my best friends for over a decade. I will go through with it, because my other friends have taken care of *** talking suicide over and over, causing a hinderence in my recovery of my overdose. I told him myself first, then my buddy from the group was going to have everyone adress his laungage in front of a child we all look after, and especially me, because we have a a great pupil teacher, friendship always observed by his mother, and now he can call me anytime on my landline, and we can speak with his mother's dialing me first, then we can chat while she is on the line. This is very imporntant to me, as this is my first real family with children that well second, that allows me into their lives, based soly on who I am, because they love me. It's just I have more in common often with children, because my mind never developed when I got sick too young to understand the way adults are mean and think that way, so my mind is that of a very young person, who has many commonalities as children, such as video games, coloring, activities and also having an adult mind at times, by the books I read, and the attention I spend reading and on self improvement. I do one thing everday to self improve and it is working on my self asteem. I am now no longer meek and mild around my agressive bitter nasty sister. I assert myself, and stand on my own two feet not competing with her, but just being happy for who I am and what I am accomplishing. I am going to live and survive, only now with the help of D.S untill I am in a place for help, I will not have to fight so hard to live. I almost have a month free. Love you guys, Sorry my responses are slow, I've been bed ridden with this cold, and untill I feel better responsis will be slower yet untill I heal. Love your friend, Heidi
ps I am legally blind in one eye so I raise the txt so I can read it.
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