vent
Nothing new tonight no kind of break to clear my throughts or hear myself think.HMmmmmm i love my kids to death i know that much but do i feel like they would be better off without me YES.I love my family but do i feel like my mom turned my oldest daughter against me YES.My kids are 4 3 and 10 months and my two oldest look at me like i have two heads anytime i tell them something to do but do my mom step in to help no all i hear is what i'm not doing as a parent.These are some of my throughs thats going though my head right this minute.Do i feel alone in this world HELL YES no one will understand what i'm dealing with into you put your feet in my shoes i wear a 9 i would love to see can anyone walk a mile in the same shoes i walk in everyday.I wake up everyday in pain lonely and alone.Vent not over there is more to come
Replies
Vent all you want... That's what this site is for.
Thank you
When I started thinking that my kids would be better off without me is when I went on antidepressants. There is no way your kids would ever be better off by losing their mom.
I've been through a lot of similar things to you. I had depression as well as chronic Lyme disease and couldn't ever take care of my kids as they needed and deserved, and as I wanted to. Now my kids are 19 and 22 and they made it somehow and are wonderful people. They have their issues and some of them are because of how things were with me, but they will just have to work through that stuff the same way I had to work through my own issues.
Its just i feel like they will be better without me because know matter how i feel i try so hard to put on a face for them but when i'm hurting my mom will yell at me and say i have to put the pain in the back of my mind to take of them and thats what i try to do but im hurting myself more
Your mom shouldn't be yelling at you when you're in pain like that. Maybe you need to set some boundaries with your mom. People who have been abused are not very good at setting boundaries and often it's the first thing we have to learn. But you might explain to your mom that her yelling like that makes you feel like they'd be better off without you and leads your thoughts in dangerous directions. Maybe you can tell her how to be more helpful to you.