Vent
Just needing a place to vent right now. My husband has started to go to the gym a few months ago and it's all he talks about now. He also gives me constant lectures on how I should be eating and working out and it's just mentally draining to hear it all the time. I know it's good to be healthy and take of your body but idk what to do anymore. I told him I'm tired of hearing about the gym and how he eats but he just get mad at me and says I need to be more educated about health.
Replies
No one likes to be criticized all the time. Maybe consider trying something different with him. Accept this is how he is. Decide to stop resisting his health talk. Doesn't mean you have to be his little robot and join in. But this technique helps us detach with love. When he gets going, you might respond "tell me more" and let him go on until he stops talking. You can prompt him with questions like, what is the answer then? or what solution do you have so far? Let him get it off his mind but you correctly know it is critical and maybe controlling or codependent of him. It is a way to respond that isn't such a brick wall response or anger from us. It is mentally draining to hear this critical stuff all the time. I don't know if this technique will work but it might make him feel heard. You don't have to agree or want to join him in the gym. If he is always critical and mean spirited, then beware of who he is and how he is. Not fixable by you.
Another idea is to just flat out tell him "I feel ____ when you criticize me".
Thank you for your advise hasty_05. I will give it a try