Vacation, all I ever wanted, vacation have to get away!

So tomorrow I am going to Ocean City, New Jersey with my best friend Deanna. I know I'm a baby but I'm nervous I'm going to be homesick and have ED issues there. It's from tomorrow, Sunday, until Saturday. I will be able to call home whenever. But I'm still really anxious.  I'm afraid I'll be homesick and miss my family. I went away to camp the summer before high school for two weeks and it was the most miserable experience of my life. I felt so lonely and anxious. I lost a ton of weight there in only two weeks. But this time it will only be for 5 days, I'll have my best friend, and be able to call my parents whenever I feel like it. Plus just relaxing at the beach and boardwalk should be fun. I don't know yet if I'll be able to get on here but I sure hope so because it would relieve my anxiety a lot to know that I could contact you guys when I needed support. I know there is a computer at the house we are staying at but I don't know how much I will get to use it and if I will get private time to go on this site. I don't want her family that we're staying with to see the site and that I have an ED and self injure and judge me. But they will probably see anyways if I restrict or binge. I look alright in a bathing suit meaning I'm not scary skinny, but sometimes I get this awful urge to suck in a little bit and my ribs fly out. Everyone gasps and says you should not look like that even when you suck in. You're too skinny. And then I feel self conscious. If I don't suck in I feel fat. If I do I feel like a freaky skeleton.    Also I'm afraid I may have trouble sleeping. I need my comforter and two special pillows to sleep. I am bringing my comforter and one special pillow so that will have to be enough. Also I hope it's not too hot because I need cold air to sleep! Ugh I'm sorry I'm such a complainer, haha! So. The eight hour drive is tomorrow. I pray this goes well! Wish me luck!  

Replies

Soph827
Soph827

i hope u have a really nice time!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Relax! You\'ll have a BLAST!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Take a deep breath and try to forget about ED, you are on a vacation. ENJOY it!!!! Have fun!
Laura28
Laura28

the drive is the best bit esp if your the passenger cause you can crash out lol
Slimpics
Slimpics

Enjoy your holiday with your Deanna; glad you\'ll have her to lean on if things get too rough!
You\'ll be ok, I\'m sure.