Vacation

I took a vacation with my husband. We went to Lake Chelan in WA. It was super hot. For the most part I did ok. I did get frustrated and overheated a couple of times. What is frustrating is not being confident to move to the water. Pathways are difficult to navigate and I don't have the strength. Also remembering to recognize the signs that I am near crashing. I failed once and that was enough to recognize the next time. And I get so tired. It stinks to get so tired from simple things that others do with ease. My favorite thing to do most of my whole life was to sit in the sun and soak up the rays. Now I really can't do that any more. Hot was my favorite thing. Not any more. I thought one day, oh to walk with ease and be able to move and loosen up these muscles. Then to think, I don't think I can move enough to loosen up. It is like a love hate relationship with movement. I long to move and I know it is good for me and at the same time it is so challenging. I am tired today. I am tired of struggling. I am tired of feeling guilty to have to ask for help. I am tired of feeling guilty that my husbands life is changed too.