useless (mood will not update)

F'd up again dissapointed my wife again and failed again for the billionth time, she has for one simple task for me to be here in the morning on time so we can take our daughter to school since its her first day back going in 3rd grade. So like a dumbass I am, end up doing over sleeping. She had to stay up all night because I am unreliable like everything else in life, she feels like crying why she can't have a husband that is reliable and helpful. I feel like I am playing chess and my opponent is life all my pieces are pawns I am like 30 steps behind every move I make is a mistake though in my mind I keep thinking this time I well do it I will win. I wish she never never loved me or was normal and could move on and find someone else, over and over I only disappoint her I am sure patience is running out. She cannot even say much to me because she feels if I get too much pressure I might end up lying so its a losing situation for her. I am making her life miserable and living hell, she can't anything done cause she has to worry if I do my part and if I fail to do such she has to pick up the slack when she is trying to do million things as it is. I feel like I should really really not be trying to make amends with my wife, I do not think I will lie, that's only one of the issues there are plenty of other stuff that needs work. I am sure if she asks me to a do simple task like get something from store or print something I would botch that up. I should give up and just not lie so I am not disappointing anyone I do not try to do it on purpose or trying to ruin her life I just end up doing it because I am useless. What good is loving someone who is complete waste of time and useless in their life and just makes them depressed and causes plethora of agony.