urges.......

since last night and stuff i've had urges to cut....i feel like i need to punish myself for being so weak and for dropping out of school in the fall.....and recently when i've felt bad and feel like i need to punish myself or something i turn to my ED, so i haven't cut since january.....sooooooo now i feel like i wanna cut.....it's kinda making me mad and confused and...i dunno...i like the feeling of cutting better....i dunno....