urges........

i wanna self injure so bad!!!!!!!!! i feel so wothless and like i don't matter and i don't care if any cuts show.....i just wanna slice away at my arm....i don't care if anyone sees it....i have therapy today and i think i'm gonna after therapy....i just don't care......to me it doesn't matter if anyone sees it or if anyone judges me...I just wanan feel better....i'm being selfish.....my BPD is acting up and i just wanna feel something b/c i also feel a little numb....i just wanna feel!!!!!