upset
I'm new to this support group site but I'm really hoping it helps me with a lot of my issues. I'm really fired up right now because my boyfriend constantly ignores me when he is with his friends. We go to different schools so it is hard being apart. I am just so tired of feeling like I'm not good enough and that when his friends are around I'm just ignored.
I always just lash out and start fighting with him and calling him names because we go through this all the time and I am just sick of it. I know it doesn't justify saying the hurtful things I say out of anger but I just get so fired out and start saying all this stuff. We have both cheated on each other in the past and he constantly does stuff that leads me to believe that he likes to give other females attention and likes the attention himself. I just want to be happy and stress-free in my relationship. I don't know how to not get so mad and jealous and angry. I'm just exhausted and over it all.
Replies
aww I so feel for you..
I've been there a few times lol
relationship probs I find more distressing than anything. ..
it sounds like you have both out grown each other to be honest. ..
& you deserve better. .
when you look at him
can you honestly feel he is what you would want 20/30 years from now?
because from my experience when the relationship finally ends years later
I wanted to kick myself for wasted years.. & I knew when I should hav left.. but I clinged onto a bad relationship. .. I don't like failure so I thought id work harder at something that I knew deep down was a doomed situation. .
only to realise it was myself I failed by not leaving. . & allowing the situation to make me ill... inside to out. ..
no man is worth such loss....
we always feel we wont find someone else to love us..
but that's only a miss guided view point we believe in our heads because self esteem gets knocked along the way....
if you had a friend or sister going through the same
what would your advice be to them?
& the answer might become more obvious even though its not what you want to hear..
best wishes with this situation xx
I think about how far we've come and how much I miss him when he's away and how much we laugh and love when we're together and even when we're apart. I think about the thought of marrying him one day and having kids and growing old and what kind of life we would live, the house we would have, how our kids would look. But I also think about the fact that that is normal. I'm only 21, almost done with college and my career will start soon. So I often think about whether my thoughts are just because I am young an curious about my future. But he does make me happy and he isn't always a pain and I have left him for what he has done but we have always just got back together and over time I learned how to put my foot down. I know if my friends were telling me the stuff I go through I would tell them to stick up for themselves (I always do) but I know when they come to me for relationship stuff, if its something similar to a situation I have gone through then I would tell them that its up to them and what they decide to do because I've been there. I do sometimes give advice that I don't take myself and I know I should work on that but I guess I just really want it all to work because I do really love him.
I also know that it is toxic in some ways and that I shouldn't have to deal with a lot of the things he does. But then I think about all of the really hurtful things I have done to him and the pain I have put him through. I don't ever want to justify his hurtful behavior but I also don't want to play the victim.
I also try to have this perfect relationship that doesn't exist and I need to stop that because I just get my own hopes up. It all just really sucks and I don't know what to do anymore :(
We spent a lot of time together over our winter break and yeah we fought and bickered but we loved and laughed and smiled and it was so nice. I feel like distance really has a lot to do with it and I hate it because neither of us can do anything about that.
thanks for listening<3