Ups and Downs in Recovery

So...wow...I hate nights...I mean I love them and hate them all at the same time.  I am full of energy and ready to go with no one to go with.  I have moved to Wisconsin, I have lost my house, my land, my horses are in Michigan 4 hours or so from me, so I don't get them near me anymore.I no longer have a house...I have a small 10x12 foot room in my mom's condo and all my stuff is in a storage facility nearby.  I half jokingly said to my mom the other day it's like having a life waiting for me without being able to live it.  I left my job when I left Florida and I haven't really looked too seriously up here yet.  I have been playing around online at several different sites and even applied for one spot, I really need this.  I need to find something just to be out on my own again.  I have been nosing around at apartments as well and doing the math of what it will take to rent one and pay my other bills and WOW...I almost have to get back into what I was doing or just suck it up and stay here for a year or so until I can get some other things handled...I am very lonely right now.  I have a good friend in Michigan who has my 2 horses and I have reconnected with 2 good friends from when I grew up here.  I just don't feel comfortable going out yet and there doesn't seem to be as much to do around here during the winter.  I know there is. I just havent found it yet.  The nights are the toughest, I find myself getting very depressed and somedays I don't even want to get out of bed because I have no purpose.  I am looking forward to one thing...my sister's wedding the first week of May...guess where it is??  That's right sports fans...I'm going to St. Thomas!!!  I really can't wait.  We've already been talking about some of the things all of us want to do when we're down there and I've started tanning so I don't turn into a lobster while I'm there.  I'll be there for 6 days and 5 nights...plan on having a ton of fun...so if ya wanna have some fun...I know I still care about my ex, although it's been almost 9 months since the divorce was final.  I guess it was sort of like being torn apart slowly. first the request for the divorce with the hope of counseling (faked on her part), then the actual writing up the documents for filing ourselves, then the actual court dates (that still tears my guts out) and then she moves out in Oct, meets someone new in Nov, gets engaged Dec 15th and remarried in Feb 08.  I still wonder if she really met him in November (she swears she never cheated) or if she met him earlier.  And so here I am the one left out in the cold, alone...I gave her everything she asked for and all I could...and I guess it just wasn't enough.  I miss her, but I miss the woman I fell in love with, not the woman she was at the end...I miss having someone to share my life with, the good and the bad.  I do admit I have been looking...not sure I'm ready to date yet, but I did go out to match.com to check it out and I do have to admit I've found a couple people who really get my attention, not only with their apprearance, but with their minds (what they wrote).  I admit I am much harder on myself and am reluctant to contact anyone more because I don't have a job yet than anything.  I don't have my life straight, I am not out on my own right now and I don't want to be THAT guy who when asked has to respond "yes, I currently live with my mom".  BUT...I wnt to meet some new people...just not sure how to do it or where...it is so tough coming back to an area sometimes.  I had lots of contact when I lived here because I was in school...so tons of friends and opportunities...have thought about using my GI Bill to go back to school too, and I just made contact with the daughter-in-law of a good friend of my mom's who owns an appraisal company and I am very interested in becoming an appraiser, nice hours, decent pay, self-employed, toughest part is building a clientele, which I know I have the sales ability to build...