Update on Becca *POSSIBLE TMI
She did a lot of shit while I was at Ashleys. Someone told Erica that Becca was posting scandalious half naked pictures of herself on SnapChat. Erica wont tell us who told her tho. Becca hasnt talked to Ashley or Riley(ashleys sis) in a long time. Last time Becca reached out to Riley was to go the the bar. Becca is fucked up.
Erica has these gel things that she puts up her coochie to prevent getting pregnant. She bought a box of it on the 28th. She knows how much her and my Dad have sex which has only been 3 times since she bought that box. There are 10 of them in 1 box. Well the box is gone. Erica asked Becca is she took them and Becca got all defensive and told Erica that she was tired of being blamed for stuff and that she doesnt even know how to use them. I know how to use them. They are like tampons!
Becca then blocked everyone on social media and said that she isnt talking to them for a bit. So Erica blocked her back and completely removed Becca from her phone.
I was told that Becca was fired from her job and is now living with a girl that nobody in this family nows. I have never seen this girl in my life.
Becca is fucking up her life and her relationship with her family and I hope she realizes that before its too late. My dad will cut off ANYBODY no matter who it is if they are causing pain or if it gives our family a bad reputation. That is what Becca is doing. She went to my Dad's EX BUSINESS partner for help and was lying to make herself seem like she needed more help, which could put my family in more of a bad spot. She is going to fuck up mine and my families lives if she does not stop! I am scared of what other lies she is gonna say.
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Your sister is clearly suffering from the results of a very difficult environment at home and lack of parental support. You have expressed many times that home life is not that great. She is only behaving and acting out as a result of that. She needs support, comfort, guidance, therapy... not be condemned and shamed. She's hurting a lot inside. Instead of going against her and shaming her on the internet you should be encouraging her to seek help. Her issues should be kept private and not put on display like this. She didn't consent to that.
I put it on here cause I want my friend's opinion on the situation. If you arent okay with that then I am sorry.
I will be posting a screenshot of what she has to say on the situation
Your journal is a place for you to share how you're feeling. It makes sense that you're very worried about Becca and the impact her behavior may have on your family. I didn't view anything you wrote as intending to shame her.
Becca grew up in the same dysfunctional environment that you're living in. She has a history of being abandoned (bio mom is sometimes there/sometimes not), and is seeking what she was lacking at home (affection, attention). Her behaviors are worse now, because her life lacks direction and is spiraling out of control. She is acting out of pain, fear, and desperation. She is essentially homeless, drifting, and desperately seeking to feel like she's worth something to someone. It sounds like she's using guys and alcohol to numb the pain. To the best of my knowledge, no one was guiding her into adulthood and teaching her how to make it on her own (please correct me if I'm wrong). Given all of this, it's not surprising that she's floundering.
What Becca needs right now is the opposite of what Erica is doing by blocking/removing her. In my opinion, the best way to de-escalate this situation is for someone to reach out to Becca with kindness and empathy, not judgment. Your dad would be the best, assuming he would say something supportive (for example, "Becca, I love you and worry about you. Stop by the house and let's talk about what's going on in your life right now."). I'm not certain if you could convince him to reach out or not, because it sounds like he immediately becomes defensive. I'd also encourage you to reach out to her, if you haven't already. Try to avoid bringing up the half-naked pictures on SnapChat or who she's sleeping with now. No, "Please don't screw things up for our family." Just "I love you, sis." Offer to be there to listen when she's feeling bad or lonely or lost.
Therapy would likely help Becca, but I realize that she doesn't have the financial resources right now. I really hope that things get better for her and your family. Keep us posted, when you can. Hugs.
I called her last night and I talked to her. I got her side of the story. The half-naked pictures were her at a lake in a bikini, but I guess it was the way she was posing that triggered my family. She now has a bf and is living with my dad's ex business partner and she didn't tell him anything but show him screenshot of what the parents were saying abt her. I found out she is making mistakes and that is normal for young adults. She asked me if she was a bad person and I told her that it was normal and its going to continue to happen. She is a young adult and learning how to live without her parents.
My dad wont let her in the house anymore and Becca doesnt want to talk to the parents for awhile and she told them that she was gonna block them till she was ready cause they always have sum to say.
I am here for her and she knows it.
It can be difficult first starting out as a young adult, for sure. It sounds to me like your parents are more concerned about their reputation than anything. A bikini picture with suggestive poses is different from "half-naked pictures on SnapChat." However, I do personally find it concerning that she's living with her dad's ex-business partner. He's how old? And why would he allow her to stay, if he's not expecting something in return? Just questions that come to mind.
I get why she feels hurt by your parents. They haven't consistently been there for her and have been abusive at times. I think her asking whether she's a bad person may be because she feels like she is one. I'm glad that you're talking with her and offering support. While it's true that young adults have to find their footing, most aren't hopping from pillar to post and drinking to excess unless they are lost and struggling. I hope she will be OK.
I hope she will be okay too.
My dads ex business partner is in his early 40's.