Update of goal

I had a good day practicing my new doal of thinking simple.  I was able to use it in the morning and a lot when friends came over.  Even at one point I was thinking about it and was thinking of the deeper understanding of it which is great because I am reaching new grounds with this goal. I am not sure exactly how long I thought about it [counting].  The thought was that I have thought of thinking simple and now what do I do at this new level.  I was concentrating on something someone was talking about and I was able to think simple and I was relaxed and heard what he said without judgment but I didn't know what to do with what he said.  I guess when I think simple now I think about how I would react to him and thought maybe I wouldn't have to react and I think about how I would think about myself and my really difficult situation, namely my suicidal thoughts.  They are very difficult to handle.  I will try to think as simple as possible but they are there the suicidal thoughts and they make me feel sad.  They are really difficult to handle.  I doubt I would get rid of them and I don't know how to manage them.  Why would someone want to manage suicidal thoughts anyways.  It reminds me of Marie Currie and her experiments with radioactive materials.  She managed them and discouvered them but they ultimately led to her death.  Is it the same thing for me.  Is managing these suicidal thoughts like managing toxic materials?  I just feel so confused because somehow it feels this way and on the other hand I want to try to deny it so I do not think about it.  Is it good to deny the suicidal thoughts?  How do I deal with them?