Update, Me & Life

Oh boy, here I am.  Feel like there's so much to say yet I don't know where to start.
Hubby, recently had his reg appt with the cancer dr.  It appears his prostate cancer is mildly active.  It's quite often the norm that after 5 yrs fr initial treatment it can be active again.  His PSA was 2.3.  It's just a monitor fr here as they do not do any treating until it would reach 10 then it would be another round of hormone treatments.  It is what it is & we go abt living our lives with the thinking that is where the Lord wants us to be,  the road he wants us to walk so on we go.  He finds the COPD way way harder & restricting on him is various ways.  I know he has guilt over feeling like my life is so so affected.  I reassure him as best I can that I know this is where I'm meant to be.  In alot of ways he doesn't deny me some shopping trips, treating myself, doing my own thing so I think we've got some balance here.
Announcement-I've decided to leave the cat shelter, one of the most difficult decisions I've ev er had to make.  Talk abt major soul searching.  I had a wise acquaintance point out to me that I have alot of the day following the shelter where the lupus is just not happy with me.  I'm physically feeling so out of control.  There's been more & more on the emotional side too.  This wise acquaintance also told me that maybe it's the Lord's way of telling me that it's time to close this door & look forward to what he might want me to do next.  I've been in animal care for abt 16 yrs now.  This feels so so weird I tell ya.  Another huge issue is their morals & ethics just don't sit well with me any more.  There's way too many cats that have serious permanent health issues & heaven forbid you do the right thing & put it to sleep were it can be at peace in heaven.  There's cats with progressing kidney failure, cancerous conditions, but, one must keep pumping them with drugs & IV's etc. etc.  There's actually times where when you look at their eyes, those cats are almost saying "why do I have to keep living like this please do something".  It just doesn't sit well with my heart & soul.  So I'm leaving at the end of December.  Part of me deep inside is just feeling weird, can't quite describe it.
I still go to yoga Thurs mornings.  Yoga is something that is just so right for me.  You know when you really just connect with something both physically &  in your soul, well thats me & yoga.  My dr is pleased also as it's good for bone density building & helping mobility as with lupus muscle & joint pain can be something thats a part of your life.  Sure would like to find some way to gain some weight & atabilize it, but hey, it's an ongoing challenge that I will give my all to the battle.
It was recommended that I shd apply for the caregivers tax credit.  I've never thought of myself as being in that position but I've had it pointed out to me that actually I am.  I don't know why I keep saying yea I'm going to & still just never get the ball rolling, hhmmm?  It was brought to my attn by a couple at the gym.  This young man is a caregiver for his wife who is severly paralized.  She ordered me to get going on this & that they were approved & it helps alot.  My gut is telling me I had angel intervention at that time.  I've never seen this couple since & when I think abt them, there was something just different, hard to describe, but I've had angel interventions in life a few times over yrs so this could be.
Finally I want to tell all my friends who might be checking this entry out that I'm not ignoring any of you intentionally or avoiding DS.  Please know this.  The first half of my days can be busy with this & that, tending to errands & the house, etc. etc., & alot of time by the time I could be on DS I'm just to mentally tired to do it.  BUT as part of my reshaping my days I'm going to set aside several times a wk to make sure I don't lose any one here.  You folks are part of my sanity.
So I think I've babbled enough for now.  I'm heading over to get caught up with all your goings on.  Love ya every one!