Update for my lovely peeps.

It's been a while.
I have been inactive here. i have stuff going on inside my head.

In September I was looking for an outlet, soemthing new to try, so I had learned that there is a place about 40 minutes from my home that had been stocked with salmon for people to try to catch. Catching salmon had been something I had wanted to do since I was a kid, and back then I had been pretty good at catching trout, so I thought maybe I could give this a go.
So in the months of October and November, it's catch-and-release only, meaning you cannot keep any of the fish and there are restrictions on what types of tackle you can use, as a precaution not to injure any fish you might catch. That is okay for me. Actually the resrictions are always in effect. So I went and spent some good $ on some waders and other gear.
I went a few times in October and November with no luck. nothing. One thing I did note (only a few days after I had gone, so I didn't like go there and say WOW because I suck at life and these things take a long time for me to realize the truth but that's the disease!!) was that It was really nice to be out there, alone, in dangerously rushing water, with no people around, just suck in Nature's Bounty (although the bounty doesn't seem to include any fish). Also it's quite exhausting, and I find solace in total exhuastion. too tired to stress out or something. YOU be the shrink here and fill in the blanks!
December came, and that means that you can now keep any fish you catch. I brought my son, to kind of double our chances. the weather was below freezing. we still caught nothing.
How frustrating. But I didn't give up.
yesterday came. A really warm sunnie March day and the fishing season ends soon. I went out. Still nothing. But this time there were people, so I went against my typical reclusive personality and I talked to a few of them. Apparently they haven't caught anything either. Good. At least it might not be me. Right?

So I go home and am throroughly frustrated. That's it. no more fishing. Cut my losses.
Shall I go back next October? Today I say I doubt it. I like to have something concrete to show for my time. I can still go trout fishing or what. But this was too much.

But I did get something out of it. It's just that I can't express what that is at the moment. At least I can close this chapter and continue my quest for satisfaction, yes?

Now I feel better.