Update- Crappy life

Update- I'm really struggling currently with everything. My weight is slipping a lot due to overexcercise. I'm still unemployed and they keep raising my rent beyong what I can afford so I've had to make sacrafices which is usually less food; I knoww not good. I also want to SI so freaking badly. I think I'm sliding back with no footholds of any type. I've been going on 5-10 mile walks during the week to relieve stress. I know bad again but in a way right now it's bettert than other things i've thought about. I've had no support that's in real life since people don't truely understand whats going on. I wish I could trust them but they overreact and don't understand why i don't come to them with my problems.  If I could move my goal thing it would be in the negative