Update and rough day
The updates...Had two interviews today and I'm hoping one of them will pan out into a job. The one at a Montessori school would only go through June and then start back up in September and has close to full time hours. The other job Goddard school is part time but is not really going to disappear anytime soon. Unfortunatelly both jobs are in Issaquah which is 30minutes away and both only pay $10/hr. Talked to cranky hubby after a previous post and we talked about his moods and how I was ready to walk the other night since I was so sick of them. He agreed and said he will work on improving his mood. Maybe this will help...they've proven if u act happy enough eventually your brain is convinced that u are happy hence happiness! Just don't want him to be dishonest to himself.
Went ahead and sent that e-mail to my friend D (male friend). Truth be told I don't even know if he checks that e-mail account anymore since it is an old account. Maybe I'll call him next week and check in with him and see how he's doing. I've been thinking about recently how at one point several years ago when we were both single, we agreed to get married if we weren't married by 40. Judging by his sister's Christmas pics he's not bringing anyone home yet so he is not serious about anyone. That and the factors that I broke up with him because of would be deal breakers for a lot of people not just me. Well I broke that agreement 2 years ago now just to see if we survive the next couple years.
Started reading the various blogs that my friends from college have put up. U know what people who have blogs have in common? Kids! So that started up the infertility I-can't-have-kids can't-afford-kids baby blues. Not to mention that my shoulders are killing me tonight. I get so gosh darn lonely. Besides my roommate and my husband's friends I have no friends down here. This has been a developing issue for the last few years. My best friend in high school was Judy who is still my friend but we've never been the type to just call up just to talk. The conversation tends to turn dead if we do. The rest of my high school friends just dispersed after high school. Have found some of them on Facebook but that doesn't make plans magically appear. College friends drop off the face of the earth after college and my best friend was D for the longest time (see older journal). Well that's it of my depression life! Moore later!
Went ahead and sent that e-mail to my friend D (male friend). Truth be told I don't even know if he checks that e-mail account anymore since it is an old account. Maybe I'll call him next week and check in with him and see how he's doing. I've been thinking about recently how at one point several years ago when we were both single, we agreed to get married if we weren't married by 40. Judging by his sister's Christmas pics he's not bringing anyone home yet so he is not serious about anyone. That and the factors that I broke up with him because of would be deal breakers for a lot of people not just me. Well I broke that agreement 2 years ago now just to see if we survive the next couple years.
Started reading the various blogs that my friends from college have put up. U know what people who have blogs have in common? Kids! So that started up the infertility I-can't-have-kids can't-afford-kids baby blues. Not to mention that my shoulders are killing me tonight. I get so gosh darn lonely. Besides my roommate and my husband's friends I have no friends down here. This has been a developing issue for the last few years. My best friend in high school was Judy who is still my friend but we've never been the type to just call up just to talk. The conversation tends to turn dead if we do. The rest of my high school friends just dispersed after high school. Have found some of them on Facebook but that doesn't make plans magically appear. College friends drop off the face of the earth after college and my best friend was D for the longest time (see older journal). Well that's it of my depression life! Moore later!
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Suddenly, I can\'t help but wonder if you\'ve got some hormonal imbalances going on that are affecting your moods? BC pills can do it, so can a lot of gyno issues...maybe you should talk to a doc about your moods, too? If you\'re feeling depressed a lot, it could be a physical problem that can be fixed with medication. This journal reminds me of how I felt when I was in college right before I almost tried to kill myself. I felt very alone and isolated, even though I can see in hindsight that I just needed to reach out to people and let them know how I felt and they would have come running. In fact, I finally did do that and the person I reached out to actually did come running. My advice would be, check with a doc to see if there\'s something he/she could do medically, and since I know money is tight, if you can\'t afford that, then please, just call someone and invite them over for a game of Go Fish or Scrabble or anything. It doesn\'t matter what you do, just so you aren\'t alone. Never assume that your next conversation will be like the last. There is always hope! Good luck with the jobs! *HUGS*
Thanks Michelletj. This is probably partially hormonal since I get the blues to some amount every month routinely. But judging from what I can judge the hormones are in sync. Just the move and my husband\'s moods are driving me batty and bringing me down.
The husband being moody can\'t help at all, if you can just ignore him and know it\'s his problem, not yours, it might make your day easier. The pay is lousy for those jobs but it\'s work and will get you out of the house if the petrol price to get there dosn\'t take all your pay. you look after yourslef and make new friends, keep doing it until you have some you do click with and can laugh with also, hope it all works out with you. Hope D isn\'t more than you hope.