Update after ages
Here, after quite some time. As usual..its when I wish to pen down my thoughts or feelings...because I know somebody here would be 'listening'...so here I am.
At work right now. Things are going on just about kind of/ sort of okayish...some ups and some downs...generally nothing so great nor so disastrous as it felt some months/years back (Thank God !).
My lows continue...coming on whenever they feel like it ..which can be irritating. A friend of mine lost her mother and it was awful -awful since it was so sudden. It made me feel anxious about my own parents-especially my mother with whom I have not been having such a great relationship of late and hope we can get along better.
My daughter--who is at the threshold of teenage has me trying to be as 'good' a mother as i can be , which I am not so sure is good enough at times.
My weight : 82 kgs :( is my major source of sorrow currently : going to the gym has become almost a non entity now. :(
No man in my life and have almost given up on that front.
Still get very vivid thoughts--in the form of very well remembered events and even spoken words of the past.
Some joys: I could actually find the strength and energy in me to clean up the house some days back--much to the surprise and joy of my daughter to whom I must seem like the laziest person in the world !
Well..that's it....some ups-some downs and some just very straight boring, horizontal lines ! [does that even make sense???!!]
At work right now. Things are going on just about kind of/ sort of okayish...some ups and some downs...generally nothing so great nor so disastrous as it felt some months/years back (Thank God !).
My lows continue...coming on whenever they feel like it ..which can be irritating. A friend of mine lost her mother and it was awful -awful since it was so sudden. It made me feel anxious about my own parents-especially my mother with whom I have not been having such a great relationship of late and hope we can get along better.
My daughter--who is at the threshold of teenage has me trying to be as 'good' a mother as i can be , which I am not so sure is good enough at times.
My weight : 82 kgs :( is my major source of sorrow currently : going to the gym has become almost a non entity now. :(
No man in my life and have almost given up on that front.
Still get very vivid thoughts--in the form of very well remembered events and even spoken words of the past.
Some joys: I could actually find the strength and energy in me to clean up the house some days back--much to the surprise and joy of my daughter to whom I must seem like the laziest person in the world !
Well..that's it....some ups-some downs and some just very straight boring, horizontal lines ! [does that even make sense???!!]
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