update

Life shuffles along.  It has been an interesting summer for us.  We moved a half a block down the street to keep an anxiety ridden cat company!  Our neighbour likes to spend 3 or 4 months in Vermont where she has a cottage.  She was concerned about Mikey.  We volunteered to live at her place mostly - go back and forth.  It works out well because major work is being done on our condo building - replacing balcony railins so it is noisy!  

If you have read my journals over they years, I have probably mentioned that I had a falling out with a niece and a nephew.  My niece's grandson Tucker died of a Fentanyl overdose.  My niece obviously devastated to lose a grandchild.  

My friend Michelle and I drove to Thunder Bay, where my shrinking family still lives.  I have lost a brother, sister, brother-in-law, and John (the nephew I wanted put in jail because he mistreated my sister).  John had a heart attack a few months ago.  I have also lost friends that I have known since I was in elementary school.

I mostly wanted to spend time with Wendy (Tucker's mom)- we have been in contact several times a week since Tucker died.  Her mom has forgiven me for whatever I did.  We are back to our old relationship, which makes me happy.  She told me that she really had no idea how bad I felt when Lisa died.  Now she knows.  

I feel like I have a family again.  I also got to see some childhood friends and hang out on the waterfront.  Thunder Bay is a bit of a dicy city but it is beautiful!

Our trip was looong!  We took 3 days to drive there (Michelle drove) and came home in 2 - day 1 was a 5.5 hour drive and day 2 was 12 hours.  Surprisingly, it didn't seem that bad.  We listened to audio books and music.  And we are still friends!  This is the second time we have done that drive (I helped last time) - we have decided there will be no 3rd road trip to Ontario!

Joe is going to Ottawa on the 11th to spend time with Cevyn and the twins.  I am staying here to water the garden and plants, and look after another friend's condo.  She is off to British Columbia to spend a month with her brother!  I will have very little time to get into mischief!

It is interesting how time smooths the rough edges.  My son-in-law and I had a rocky relationship after Lisa died.  He was married to Beth but she left him after David died.  Harvey said that she had decided to go before but this sped up the process.  The sad part is that she is spreading rumors - actually lies - about Cevyn and her dad.  There have been times that I wanted to smack Harvey but I know for a fact that he is not abusive.  She is also blaming Cevyn for the fact that her son hung himself in his bedroom.  David and Cevyn were sharing a condo.  Her friend knew his as her brother.  I don't think they realized that he was a step-brother.  For a time, he was happier than he had been in years.  Drugs and depression are a bad combination.  Cevyn was devastated.  Anyway, Harvey's dad and brother live here in Alberta so he came to visit.  He spent 2 nights at our place.  We had a lovely visit!

Time doesn't heal wounds but it has made my life better.  I will never stop grieving for Lisa.  In fact I had a weird experience when I was getting my teeth cleaned this morning.  When I am not focused on something, my mind wanders.  That is what happened at the dentist office.  Joe and I have decided we want a natural burial.  Wrap us in a blanket dump us in a hole and plant a tree on top!  I started to think about what blanket I would like to rot with me.  It came to me that Lisa's old comforter is in our closet.  She had it from the time she was in elementary school.  She loved that quilt and called it her blanky.  That is the one I want to come with me!  It is tattered and torn and I have to watch that Joe doesn't trash it.  I started to get teary eyed as I recalled Lisa and her blanky.

Enough flight of ideas.  I am sitting on the balcony, waiting for it to get dark so I can watch the full moon! All in all I am content.