Update
So, it's been over 2 years since I have been on DS, and I have some major updates. I lost my son in November 2016 to an overdose. He was a heroin addict, and he died from the carfentanil that was added to it. I am still having so much trouble coping. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, and think to myself; what could I have done. I realize that there was nothing that I could have done, but that doesn't ease the guilt feeling in me. My daughter is also an addict, and last February (2018), I had to rush back to Ohio to help her to get rehab. I had no idea that she was an addict, until she asked for help. She didn't ask me for the help, she asked my aunt, but of course my aunt informed me of the situation, and there was no hesitation. She ended up stopping the rehab no more than a day after I returned to Florida, but she swears that she is clean, and I have no choice but to put my faith in her, and take her word for it. She is gaining a lot of weight, and looking a little more healthy, so that may be a good sign. I'm no expert by any means. I mean in reality, I didn't know my son was an addict either.
I have such a strong and wonderful family, but the majority of them are in Ohio. I am in Florida. My husband now has a wonderful job, but it keeps him on the road for months at a time. So basically, I am in Florida by myself. I have only a couple of friends that I made from work. I am no longer working now, and I don't speak with them but every couple of weeks. They have busy lives. My companion is my dog. She truly is my emotional support animal, because without her, I would be totally lost. I am not working due to disability. Once my disability case is over, I will probably move closer to Ohio, but I don't ever really want to go back to live there for good. I am contemplating on Tennessee, but at this point, I can really move anywhere, because my husband works all over the U.S., and come home to wherever that home may be.
I just live my life one day at a time, and pray I get through to wake up the next day. Thanks for listening.
Replies
Hi Tracy. I'm sorry I'm just seeing your post today...
I get it...well, most of it. My son is also a heroin addict. Still earth side. Today. As far as I know.
We've run the gamut with him since Kala's accident. SO many times I've expected that next knock on my door.... I still do I suppose, yet I know I HAVE to live TERI's life! I cannot live his, nor can I control his life in ANY way. It's SO hard!!!!
Thank you for sharing a little more of your story...of Billy's story. I pray for your daughter's continued sobriety as well.
Please share as often as you feel led to do so!
Tight heart hugs,
Teri
I am so terribly sorry about the loss of your son, Billy. I too understand the disease of addiction and it's a horrible one. There is always hope and I do pray that your daughter finds her way and continues to.
I'm grateful you are here and hope that you are feeling a connection and warmly welcomed and supported.
Aren't animals simply AMAZING?! They know what we need and it's unconditional LOVE. They have that saying that we all should all work on greeting one another as our dogs do. I AGREE!
Gentle care, a warm welcome to FMO and the tightest of understanding heart (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
Heartbreaking and takes all of your energy between grief, stress, depression and loneliness all contribute and aggravate fibro. I live in Florida as well as several other FMO moms...maybe some of use live close enough that we could get together. What part do you live?
Gentle care,
Ann