updates

1367  wow what a number.  i used to see other members who had been sober for well over 1000 days and envied them.  i could never imagine reaching such a goal.  i had tried so many times to stop drinking but couldn't make it past a day or two till i was back at it.  now here i am with 1367 days sober!!!!!! me!!!!!!  my god.  who knew?
some days are a challenge.  some days i know why i drank,  given the pressures of life and not wanting to deal with them.   i would rather go hide and drink instead, but i have struggled through, with the help of friends and family.  thank god for them.  it's amazing what "threats" can do the get you through tough times.  lmao.....ha
all joking aside, i'm thankful at this moment to be sober.  life has become so much clearer.  self medicating was so destructive.  now with the help of my dr and finding the root of my issues, things are so much different.  i am "experiencing" life now instead of hiding from it just being numb.  wow.  90% of the time, life just isnt as overwhelming as i had imagined it was.  
i'm still struggling with depression, maybe i always will.  i have no idea at this point but i'm ok.  there are things i still get totally anxious about and tie myself up in knots, but i try to breath through those times and do something to take my mind off things.  so far so good.  redirecting myself in positive and constructive ways now instead of destructive and potentially fatal.  coming from one who was suicidal, thank god i'm still here.  phew.  
anyway, after so many months away, i felt like i needed to be here today.  write and update where i am.  peeps, if i can do this, and i am, you can do this as well.  when you are ready.  
have a good one all and here's to another day sober
always,
dragonfly!!!!!!!
 
never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about...........