Update
OK so today was awesome, compared to yesterday..Well I was having a pretty good week, going to the gym and then work, but then yesterday, as I was driving to the gym, I seriously parked my car in the parking lot, changed my shoes, and then turned my car on and turned around. As I was driving, ED just took over my body. He was trying to figure out what he wanted, but then also trying to figure out the easiest thing to purge. First stop:McDonalds 2 plates of pancakes and 13 cookies. Next stop: donut shop 6 donuts. I parked in a near park watching people walk and run as I stuffed my face. I was stuffed, but not overtly so, SO I went home and went into the bathroom. I tried purging and nothing came out. So I ate a bowl of cereal...no wait, make the 2 bowls. This time my stomach really hurt so I was able to purge, but only the cereal and some junk, not a lot. I ate another bowl of cereal and purged. Getting hardly anything out. I am exhausted at this point and at a panic. One wrod poped in my head. Ipecac. So I sped to the store and bought some. I still hada donut left, so I ate that in the car as I drove. On the way back, I was scared. So I went to BK and got a crossantwich and hasbrowns. I am really not hungry at all so I eat the hashbrowns and the bread in the sandwich. I plugged my nose and drank the ipecac. Then I got on here because I was freaked out. It took 20 mins, and then I was violently sick. I threw up everything and then some. My heart was pounding sooo fast I thought it was going to stop. I got out and my husband was yelling at me. I don't make it in the room, I collaspe on the floor. Finally I come to, dizzy and...my husband is still yellling at me. I am in the fetal position on the floor when I have to go again. After that, I still feel neseated, but I crawl into bed unable to move. My husband wants me to get something for him but I cannot even m,move my arm. After a few hours it is lunch time and I think that if I ate something, my stomache would stop hurting so much. I ask him to make me some soup and crackers, since I still can't move, and he complains that I should make it myself. I am crying and finally, with a puff he makes it for me. Doesnt heat it up either. So I see it and smell it, and have to go again. Dry heaves this time, but VIOLENT Heaving. I feel better so I crawl into bed and eat the soup. I am dizzy for the rest of the day and I am glad I got him to call in work for me because if I would have done it myself, I would HAVE HAD a heart attack from the aniexty. My job tells me to come in a couple hours. I try to get ready, Get my swimsuit and as I look at it, I collaspe again. There is no way I am swimming all day long today. SO I call and they let me hhave the rest of the day off. Anyways that was yesterday. Today was great though. I went to the gym this morning, did a very very light workout, but still felt great about it. I ate 2 meals and 2 snacks already, I also drank a triggerfood, a slurpee and I am trying to get myself over it. (Crystal light slurpees have as many calories as a reg. one and taste worse) I went to an OA group, took a showerwith my Victoria secret stuff so now I smell pretty. I don tever want to go through that again. I think that was my wake up call into action. Please God, when ED comes around, give me the strengh to tell him to fuck off!
Replies
Wow-I so understand and know the power of ED! Glad you had a better day - days with ED are just horrible (even though it seems its always there but not listening to him is good)