Upcoming surgery

Well once again I am preparing to go under the knife!  I had  my feeding tube removed in March but the hole will not close so the doc is going to try and go in Laperoscopically to cut the tummy away from the hole, staple the tummy shut then cut away the dead tissue that won't heal and then we will have to unpack and repack the hole like we did with my first surgery in 2002 and pray it closes.
I am so tired of fighting this crappy disease and when the doc asked about the DNR I soo wanted to say "just let me go" but my mom was there and of course she would not hear of that