Upset

I am feeling really down today.  There is the problem as I wrote in my previous journal about my benefits running out and having to rush and find a part-time job.  BTW, they are not hiring at the club I joined, so I am scouring the internet for a part-time job.  Then there is my trip to NJ.  I usually stay with my brother but now my sister-in-law is very sickly so it is not a good idea to stay there.  When I talked to my cousin about staying with her she said Ohhhhhh!  She did not seem so excited about it.  So I decided to stay with my niece.  I just got an email from her saying that her guest room is being occupied by her sister Karen.  Also that my brother probably won’t be able to pick me up at the airport cause he can’t leave his wife for that long a period of time.  The other day I got an email from my cousin that said I could stay with her, but I would have to rent a car cause she can not afford the gas to drive me around.  I wrote back to her saying I would probably be staying with my niece.  I cannot afford to rent a car.    I got a reply back from my niece saying that she and Karen are mad at each other right now.  I seems Karen is drinking again.  She got a DWI a couple of years ago and lost her license for 2 years.  You would think she would learn her lesson.  So the room is now available.  I feel very unwelcome.  I wish I could get my money back.  If I knew about my benefits running out I would not have done this in the first place.  I hope this is coherent.  I am very upset.