Up, Down & All Around

I almost don't know what I want to say or think at times lately.  I feel it's journal time but yet I might just ramble senselessly, who knows.
More or less doing OK I guess.  I've got a negative monkey trying to stay on my back regarding my hubby & the prostate c word thing (I refuse to even approach, say or think the word).  I'm doing just abt everything I humanly can to put out only positive thoughts & feelings, stay positive & refuse to go anywhere else but gee whiz it feels dam hard at times.
Hubby has a bone scan on July 27th & then we have to wait till Sept 9th to get the results.  He had an earlier appt but they had to reschedule.    I asked hubby if he wanted me to phone the c word clinic & see abt a cancellation list but he didn't  want to & I feel it's only right to respect his wishes.  I know I need to focus on keeping strength & total faith that this is where the Lord wants us to be right now.
I'm blessed that it's not affecting my lupus but I've increased my appointments with my reflexologist & I know in my heart & soul that that & focusing on the Lord is keeping me safe in that area.  My reflexologist last wk did say that she had a hard time reaching thru to me, that I was very cold & she couldn't get anything flowing.  She said my heart chakra area was like it had a barrier around it & her only concern was that she said I need to release all the pent up stuff & find a way to only live in the here & now.  I feel I need or maybe want to say more here but I'm all of a sudden empty for words, can't figure that out?????
Sure wish I had some amusing stories to tell the few that check out my journals but alas I don't.  Life is pretty quiet right at this point.  I find our super extreme heat & my lupus don't get along too well so we're staying pretty close to home but we do get out & do various little day sort of trips & some of them I have to admit have been a good escape & now that I stop & document this I even momentarily fogot abt the monkey on my back.
Anywho I'll sign off for now & so love all of you & on so many levels you are rocks in my life.  Take care all.