Up and frustrated

So here it is 3 something am... I'm awakened by attitude yet again... The kids have chores and apparently they were not done correctly yet again. Yup they're up now as well. Groovy... 3 of my 6 are officially sick... I'm beyond tired feeling like I'm a burden. Throwing a fit or having an attitude cuz shit isn't perfect  ugh... What the fuq did you expect when you offered to help out? Its 6 kids and me in this 2 br apt... I must be the worlds worst mom cuz no matter what we do its never right there's always something else pointed out... I fuss and cuss and it's like they still don't get it... I take stuff from them, cut off the tv, earlier bedtimes, and still nothing... I've even resorted to corporal punishment and that still doesn't get it. I don't understand! Why am I such a failure? Maybe the kids are better off elsewhere... I used to think that motherhood was the one thing I did fairly decently but I guess I was wrong about that too... So again I ask why am I still here if I cant do anything right? The Universes comic relief??? "Oh don't worry, the Gods and Goddesses wont put more on you than you can bare." Seriously??? I've been the everything horrible that could ever happen to a woman and yet here I am going through more and more shit. When am I going to get a break?  "Oh don't worry it always gets worse right before your breakthrough." Oh really??? When is this supposed breakthrough supposed to kick in cuz dayum..? Year after year it's the same thing no matter what I try to fix change repair and so on... I just don't get it. When will life be worth living? When will I finally get it right?  I'm so tired... Physically Mentally Emotionally Spiritually drained! 
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