Up and down again

Ive still heard nothing since monday but in a way its for the best.Im still finding things hard,one minuite i hate him then the next i miss him and im getting soooo sick of thinking of him all the time.Im really trying to be posative and think of all the reasons we wouldnt have worked and if he has got back with his wife then thats thier problem i just feel so sorry for his kids going through all this again. I do think hes gone back but he is one messed up human being so let herdeal with his crap and im gonna deal with myself.