Up and Down

I feel as though I live on a trampoline. One day up and the next day down. I'm ok when I'm around people, but alone I just fall apart. I have tears in eyes and I think I miss Burt, then I remember why he's gone and try not to think about it. I still love him and forgive him for what he is (alcoholic), but have a hard time forgiving him for leaving me here alone. My feelings are so mixed up at times that I wish all was a bad dream and I'll wake soon to a wonderful life with someone to love me for the rest of my life. I don't like the idea of be alone and getting older. I know, I'm only 52 but age and time go hand and hand. I wanted to be with Burt forever. I don't trust anyone or their motives. I don't mind talking on the phone its a safe way to make friends. I'm so worried. I don't think this can be real sometimes. I didn't want my life to be like this, its not how I imagined it. I wish I had more faith and trust in God therefore more trust in man, MAYBE!  SJH

Replies

johnnycake
johnnycake

That\'s true. I was able to forgive my ex for alcoholism and her affair, but can\'t forget that she left me. Take your time, someone will be there for you when you are really ready.
sjhmay1959
sjhmay1959

Thank you for you encouragement I appreciate it! SJH
E-mail me at: mymidget2459@yahoo.com