up and down
I had another blood test today to check my hcg levels. i hope i goes down bc the bleeding has stopped (only wearing panty liners now) and my worst fear is to have a d&c i have never had to have on before n dont want to now.On a positive note i have gotten out of bed the past 2 days although not leaving the house unless going to dr but i have done some cleaning and had a bit of a sleep. Im feeling alot better but i do have moments when i just burst into tears when i think thta she will never be in my arms. I feel like my future has been taken from me and i have nothing left to look 4ward to anymore.thinking about going back to work after the school holidays which is over in a little over a week.Jaiden went to stay with my dad 4 a few days im hoping to be back to my normal functioning self by then. I know jaiden and Kev miss me. Kev even told me the other day he misses me and i said but im here he replied no ur not.
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Even if it hasn\'t gone down, you may be able to have medication instead of a D&C. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. *HUGS*
I saw my best girlfriends last night. Like you, I wasn\'t talking to anyone for the past two weeks...everything gave me anxiety. Seeing my friends was the best thing I could have done. I was so nervous and even angry because I knew that they had no idea what I had just gone through. but they listened, they cried with me, they sent me positive energy. I left feeling hopeful, stronger, and more likemyself than I had in a long time.I know I\'m not there yet...but seeing them made me feel like I am going in the right direction. Any thoughts about when or whom you are going to see if you could? It wasn\'t easy...but it might be just what you need.
I know the feeling of drawing inward. I have been working through that as well right now. My tendency is to draw inward. But, then the downside of that is that I end up feeling more alone. When I feel alone, I guess I just need to reach out to at least someone. I think it helps to have female friends to talk to. They seem to get it more. Hard to believe. But, I guess that\'s why God gave us girlfriends. :)