Up again
I think my body is on a routine now. I sleep about 3 hrs and then wake up and can't go back to sleep. Insomnia is a side effect of Abilify and I need sleep so for this and other reasons I am going off of it and seems insomnia is a side effect of going off the medicine as well.
I am up pacing the floors all the time. I did get 6 hrs on and off yesterday. The medicine did help me though and considering staying on it because now my depression seems to be coming back. I don't know what to do.
My doctor closed her office and I made an appt. to see her at another office but it is for maintenance with meds only. I hope she will discuss this with me though. I am having such a hard time taking care of my 8 year old daughter and maintaining my meds. I have very few friends that understand my illness but I do have 2 friends who understands and 1 friend who wants to go and do things with me who doesn't understand my panic. I always have to send my daughter with her and I don't get to go because of the panic. I don't know if I'm making any sence I just have to get this frustration out. Without the Abilify I feel more irritable but the insomnia makes me feel like I'm going crazy when I'm up all night. Can't do anything because I live in an apartment building and don't want to wake neighbors or my daughter. So I get on here to pass the time by reading other post.
My body is so tired and needs sleep but my mind wants to keep me awake. No racing thoughts just can't sleep. Again I don't know what to do. I wish my sister was here. She passed away 2 years ago and I've been in hospital I think 4 or 5 times since. I am finally letting go of the pain but sure still wish she was here. I was doing well before she died. I miss her so much.
I hope I can follow through with my decision to help out at my daughter's school as volunteer. My panic attacks may or may not allow me to do so. I will do what I can. And to keep busy also, I want to help my mom more. She is 78 years old and still gets around ok but has problems driving sometimes. The abilify helped me with that too. So while the medicine is very good, its those terrible side effects that people don't know about is driving me insane if I am sane. Now I'm just rambling so I will stop.
I am up pacing the floors all the time. I did get 6 hrs on and off yesterday. The medicine did help me though and considering staying on it because now my depression seems to be coming back. I don't know what to do.
My doctor closed her office and I made an appt. to see her at another office but it is for maintenance with meds only. I hope she will discuss this with me though. I am having such a hard time taking care of my 8 year old daughter and maintaining my meds. I have very few friends that understand my illness but I do have 2 friends who understands and 1 friend who wants to go and do things with me who doesn't understand my panic. I always have to send my daughter with her and I don't get to go because of the panic. I don't know if I'm making any sence I just have to get this frustration out. Without the Abilify I feel more irritable but the insomnia makes me feel like I'm going crazy when I'm up all night. Can't do anything because I live in an apartment building and don't want to wake neighbors or my daughter. So I get on here to pass the time by reading other post.
My body is so tired and needs sleep but my mind wants to keep me awake. No racing thoughts just can't sleep. Again I don't know what to do. I wish my sister was here. She passed away 2 years ago and I've been in hospital I think 4 or 5 times since. I am finally letting go of the pain but sure still wish she was here. I was doing well before she died. I miss her so much.
I hope I can follow through with my decision to help out at my daughter's school as volunteer. My panic attacks may or may not allow me to do so. I will do what I can. And to keep busy also, I want to help my mom more. She is 78 years old and still gets around ok but has problems driving sometimes. The abilify helped me with that too. So while the medicine is very good, its those terrible side effects that people don't know about is driving me insane if I am sane. Now I'm just rambling so I will stop.
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