Unsatisfactory Therapy Session.

Monday, June 23, 2008 – 7:40 P.M.   I saw my social worker (Dale) this morning. Things did not go as well as usual. I had the feeling he took off the “gloves” this week. He says a lot of things in my life, both past and present, are causing my depression. More specifically, he cited the loss of a job, the relationship, (or lack of it) with my brother, fear, and anger about medical problems, etc. He said I needed to “let go” of it all.   Dale also said that because I refused letting go of these things in the past, I had used drugs as a means to replace my loneliness and other problems. He asked what the other therapists (and their groups) said was the reason for my using drugs. I told him that since he had access to my records, he must have seen that they felt I was using drugs as a way to “get even” with my brother and sister for ways in which they had hurt me. Dale said he had not looked in my records because he already had the answer.   This was the first time I have ever been pissed off at Dale. He read from a line I had written a month or more ago, in which I partially said “I will not let go…” I pointed to the paper he was holding, and said that he had left out the remainder of the sentence where I said, “When I am treated unfairly.” He maintained it was the first part of the sentence that was most important. We definitely hit an impasse.   We disagreed on more things than I can remember. I finally told him he was “pushing all my buttons” today and I felt that he was “backing me into a corner.”   I told him that when my doctor told me that I had severe scoliosis, my depression started getting worse. He said that the next time I felt my depression worsening; he wanted me to call him. I agreed to do that.  He said that when he goes on vacation, he wants me to call the crisis line if I have a problem. I refused to do that, saying that I was not going to let them put me into the hospital. I said I would get online instead, and get my support here. He agreed to that.   Just prior to the end of my session, he asked me to bring my sister along the next time I came. I said that before I did that, I wanted to know what he was planning. Dale said that he did not have an agenda, but wanted to meet her and see the two of us together. In spite of my having some serious reservations, I agreed to bring her with me. He then said that later he wanted both my brother and sister to go there with me. I said that I did not know whether my brother was willing to do that.   Dale is going on vacation, so we set my next session (with my sister) for Monday, July 21. After getting home, I realized that my sister goes somewhere every Monday, so that date will not work. I called Dale and left a message explaining this. He will probably call in a day or two.   I feel that today’s therapy session was a very unsatisfactory one.    Quotes for Success:   “The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success. Talent is only a starting point in business. You've got to keep working that talent.”   Irving Berlin