Unmotivated but looking forward to spring!

Unmotivated but looking forward to spring! So my dad is in the hospital after having lung surgery. Apparently he has benign mesothelioma from asbestos exposure from when he was a teenager! Crazy right! The good news is that it’s benign because if it were malignant he wouldn’t last a year. The bad news is that you can’t tell how much damage was actually done by the asbestos so this may only be the tip of the iceberg. Hopefully that’s not the case but only time will tell I suppose. He’s going home tomorrow and sounds good considering the surgery + medication he’s taking. My mom has bronchitis to top it off…what a crew! No wonder I’m depressed! Oh well…this too shall pass.Work wise I am soooooooooo unmotivated! I have a new project to work on and I’ve made some decent progress but I haven’t been this unmotivated in a long time. I suppose it’s a combination of things including the current economy, breaking off a 5 year relationship and having my parents deal with health AND monetary challenges. I believe the Prozac is helping me because I feel without it I would be in total meltdown mode right about now! I guess unmotivated and slightly bored is better than massive depression!  I do need a change in my current life. You would think ending a 5 year relationship would be change enough but that was a negative change. I do like the company I work for and being unmotivated right now really has nothing to do with the job itself. I would be unmotivated right now even if I were a rock star! I’ve been working from home a lot which is nice in a way but there’s a lack of socialism involved. The problem is when I go to the office I get nothing done and it’s a bit depressing because right how everyone is totally freaked out that they are going to get laid off. We have had layoffs and they said there are more to come but this is across the board right now. OK I’ve totally gotten myself off track! Let’s start over…I need a POSITIVE change in life! Over the past year I’ve had several changes unfortunately they haven’t been exactly fun or positive.  I need some new friends and a new scene. I love my friends but sometimes they bring me down more than cheer me up.  For the first time in life I’m considering online dating. Not to try and find “Ms Right” just to meet new people and go different places! I’m stuck in this routine where I’m basically exposed to the same few people with limited additional contacts. I suppose I could take a class or something but this city is strange. It’s like married people do stuff singles should be doing and singles kind of keep to themselves! Maybe it’s just me…yep that’s probably the case! Anyway I never in a million years thought I would ever try it but what the hell! It would be nice just to talk to someone different and learn something new about others! Like I said I love my friends but I know all their stories, they know all my stories and the only new stories lately have been sad stories of sickness and divorce. God I feel like I’m 80 sometimes listening to everyone’s tale of woe including my own!! Anyway I’m going to try the whole online thing and maybe meet someone that peaks my interest. That could be the spark I need to get myself out of the current slump I find myself in today. Like I said, not totally depressed just a bit down. Hopefully as spring comes so will new and positive things come with it! Until next time…