Unless You\'ve Been There

My life is like an uncharted island in the Pacific Ocean.  Unless you've been there, you cannot possibly imagine it, and a picture just isn't the same. Many people have it worse than me, I know that.  My situation isn't the worst there has ever been.  But, I am unable to handle it.  I cannot deal with this any longer.  I pull through each day, smiling at everyone, and dying on the inside.  I don't have physical contact with anyone other than my son.  My friends are all online.  Never a real hug or anyone to hold me as I cry.  I spend any time that I have alone, crying in a ball in my bathroom- unable to cope, with no one to pull me back from my sadness.  No one to hold me and say that it will be alright.  Most days, I cannot leave the house because of him, and because of my son.  I have no friends who will rush over and save me.  I have no one to call for help.  I deal with my son's problems, my husband's addictions and abuse on my own.  I spend my days worried and paranoid.  I have lost all of who I am, with a shattered soul and a pain deep inside of myself.  No one sees what I am really going through.  How can they?  No one knows this pain.  No one understands.  Everything is easier said than done.Every single day, I want to die.  Every single day I consider it.  All that is stopping me is a five-year-old boy.Unless you've been there, you can't possibly understand.