Unhappy with Life

Friday, October 30, 2009 - 12:25 PM   Recently, life has not being going as well as I would have liked it to be. I have not been feeling well physically or mentally, and the combination of the two has made me feel as if I am being torn apart.   My dissatisfaction with living in Denver, Colorado has been growing with leaps and bounds. To say that, "I hate living here" would have to be the understatement of the year. It is difficult for me to live in a place where I have no friends. It is a problem without an easy solution, but I am still searching for one.   I have begun talking with my psychologist, Dr. Martin, about the situation. It is my impression that she is trying to learn as much about why I do not like it here as possible. Family has a lot to do with how I feel.   When my sister, brother-in-law, and their two children moved here in the early 80s, they were looking forward to the move primarily because my brother lived in Boulder, which is located less than an hour away. They later told me that they had envisioned having a life here whereby they would be seeing my brother frequently, but that never actually happened.   For me, it is almost the same thing with a little difference. I thought that I would be seeing a good deal of both my brother and sister along with their families. That never came to pass. While I see more of my sister and her family than I do of my brother and his, it still leaves a lot to be desired. Both my brother and sister are retired, and they spend much of their time seeing friends and being with their children and grandchildren. I often feel as if I have been left out in the cold.   At the beginning of our family counseling, I had hopes that it would help bring all of us together. Most of those hopes have now been dashed since I have begun seeing different sides of both my brother and my sister. I fully realize that we are not the same as we once were when we were children, but I now feel as though we somehow managed to become more estranged from one another during the ensuing years.   I am no longer under the illusion that I will be fully reunited with a "happy family" such as the ones we used to see on television so many years ago. That is not the case, and it never will be. Dr. Martin told me that such thinking was not realistic.    

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

*insert shameless plug for Pittsburgh here*

Hugs and Mojo
Weebs
JimK
JimK

I charge for \"shameless\" plugs just as I do for commercials.

Shameless Hugs and Mojo back to you.

Jim
deleted_user
deleted_user

hehehehehe!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Jim, this realization you\'ve made is a very painful one. I know it from personal experience. I do wonder how I ever got the idea that my family could turn out happy. We should compare notes and try to figure out how we became so disillusioned.

On a positive note, this realization will allow you room for authentic relationships. You are perfectly capable of having them and you should have many of them. Perhaps moving away will give you the freedom to have them.

Is there a place in the US that is especially good for those in wheelchairs? I wish there was a whole town or state that was built for those in wheelchairs rather than us walking humans. Maybe when we\'ve weeded through all of the demons in our past we can plan it!

I got especially sad after realizing my dreams of a happy family weren\'t going to come true. My therapist told me I was grieving. I did a lot of crying and sometimes still do a little bit. Once this passes you will have room for a more realistic and achievable dream.

I am unhappy where I live and would love to move. Too many bad memories here. I would like a new beginning with new experiences. I can relate to what you say here very much.