Unexplainable Shift

Hello Everyone!
I sit in gratitude this morning as I think of the past few days; the changes that have taken place both internally and externally, and the moments of joy I experienced in the unexpected places.
As you know, I set a boundary Thanksgiving Day and told my daughter in a very kind way I would not be coming to her house because I felt very uncomfortable there. As most of you know, I will see her husband and he will not speak or acknowledge my presence whatsoever. My decision really had nothing to do with him, but with me. I decided I was worth much more than being treated disrespectful and I was choosing NOT to put myself in that situation anymore.  
Now comes Christmas Eve. My son was opening his house up for Christmas Eve, but Mama' still does all the work (he's single). Actually, I like it. Family has been invited and of course that will include my daughter Erin and her husband T.C. My son lives directly across the street from T.C.'s ex-wife; Monday I was at my son's house unpacking my car filled with presents, cooking material, etc. and T.C. is directly across the street in his car and will not so much as even look up. My Granddaughter (his daughter) comes out of the house and yells "I grandma!" She gets in the car, keeps waving and he never so much as looks. Anyway, I'm thinking "what am I going to do Christmas Eve." The little onery Vicki comes out and says when they come Christmas Eve I am going to hug my daughter and turn right around and ignore him; giving him a taste of his own medicine. I sit in meditation/prayer the next day and my heart says "you can't do that." And I know I can't do that because it doesn't feel comfortable. When they came, I went to the door and greeted my daughter with a big ole' hug and greeted T.C. with a big ole' hug. You see, it was no longer about him, it was about me. Just because he treats me badly, doesn't me I do the same in return. It's not my nature. He received the hug and the rest of the evening was ok. If he continues to not acknowledge me, I have come to the conclusion that is ok. If he comes in my presence, on my territory, I will continue to be kind. You see, as with setting the boundary this Thanksgiving and trusting my inner guide Christmas Eve, it was no longer about him, it was about me and what worked for me. Honoring me in whatever decision I made. I really didn't give him too much attention the rest of the evening; there was a UNEXPLAINABLE SHIFT in me. A major shift. My daughter, who is usually very quiet and all over him, sat by me and we started singing old songs we used to sing when she and my son were young. Travis started playing on his PC "Little bitty puissant country place" by Dolly Pardon and Erin and I got up and were actually dancing/laughing. Trust me, this is NEW for her. I loved her spirit that evening, I loved the connection.
I stayed all-night with my son Christmas Eve. Christmas morning we shared presents and breakfast. Somehow we started cleaning out drawers; I think it all started with the sock drawer as he received socks for Christmas and wanted to get rid of the old ones. I explained my belief "get rid of the old to make room for the new." Well, that's what we did. One thing led to another and we worked till 7 something that evening. Cleaning out, dancing, singing, laughing, et. Ended with us both pooped and watching the old movie Michael. Another shift. I don't think I have ever had so much fun with my son. I actually think cleaning with him Christmas Day was one of the best Christmases' I have ever had. Unexplainable shift.
It is amazing when we can finally detach, with love, how the Universe has a way of working things out. It's definitely a process and for me, meditation is the key.
Hugszzzz to you all!
Vicki

Replies

Richeart
Richeart

Wonderful! What a great experience it was for you. Congratulations on the lesson and change.

Getting rid of the old to make room for the new sounds like a good idea,...I mean we\'re already doing it emotionally and spiritually here on DS, and I need to start doing it materially (hoarding stuff, in case!). Happy New Year Vicki!

Hugs,

Rich
thegobetween
thegobetween

That\'s so wonderful Vicki. I\'m really happy for you xxxxxx
thegobetween
thegobetween

and I love your photo...you are beautiful xx
arbe
arbe

Hi Vicky
wow! what a really good way to be. that is truly compassionate to yourself and others. And yes it really is about \'you\' isn\'t it? I really like this. thank you for sharing
warm hugs
rick
vjewel
vjewel

Rick: Thank-you and yes I truly believe it is about us. Not in an egotistical way; but in a healthy way. It has taken me years of studying, unlearning, undoing, prayer/meditation, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, tears, loving my inner child and willingness to see things differently to get to this point. I am proud of the way I felt internally when these things transpired. It truly was an unexpected shift. I had done the work, but didn\'t know how the day would turn out. My Ego/Pride still gets in the way at times, but this day I felt very Authentic!
Thank-you Rich and Rosie.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hi Vicki,

Wow, what a fantastic story and journal! Just wonderful. I love the way you handled things (to thine own self you were true regarding your SIL). Lovely that you and your daughter connected as you did. And how fabulous for you and your son. How joyful this was!

Hugs,

Shari
ButterCupPrincess
ButterCupPrincess

Awesome!