Uncomfortably Numb

That is how I feel... uncomfortably numb.  I'm waiting for the next "thing" to set me off.  I still cannot think or focus on anything of merit.  So, I made it another level on Candy Crush.  That is pointless time wasting!  I want to do things that are fun... things that make me feel good.  I want this flipping house cleaned and the only way it will be the way I want is if I do it.  But when?  When I'm chasing my little kiddo around?  When I am working on potty training?  I end up with pain throughout my body and swelling in my legs.  I sound like an old crabby lady.
My meds are giving me diarrhea.  Isn't that a nice topic of conversation?  Morning to night I've got tummy troubles.  I guess I'll lose weight somehow, eventually.
I have made dinner the past couple of nights.  yay me.  tiny victory.
Still, I'm not sad.  I'm not lonely.  I'm not anything.  I'm just numb to everything.  Nothing really makes me feel happy or sad and that is not a good place to be if decisions arise.  It's like, who gives a shit?  Not me. 
I don't know if Lexapro works this fast to take me from crying to numb in a week.  All I know is that I am already not liking it and I still have no motivation and don't give a crap about doing anything for myself.  I'll do things for my son, but for me?  THings my older kids can do for themselves?  Hell no.  Don't care.  Make your own gosh damn breakfast, lunch and dinner. 
I read scriptures and I try to allow my mind to be open to the words and I try to pray honestly.  I just feel weird and numb.
I guess I'll just have to keep working on it.
dea