uncaring mom

My mom does not have the least bit of compassion at all for my anxiety problem.  And she always asks how I sleep.  Why does she ask if she doesn't even care?  I had my worst anxiety-horror moment last night and she goes and dismisses it as just a bad nightmere. Oh no big deal. I wish she could walk a mile in my shoes.   This is gonna sound really like weird, but because of past drug abuse, I hear an on-going comentary of voices.  The cut me down, make fun of me, make me second guess what I'm doing.  It's one of the defining symptons of my Bi-Polar type schzioaffective disorder.  I joined this group because I am mos def, part bi-polar, however when the voices started they changed me from bi-polar, to bi-polar with manic episodes, then the big change to schzioaffective disorder / bi-ploar type.  There's also a depressive type but that isn't me.  So needless to say I go through hell every day, even if I'm just by myself. I can still remember the moment the "voices" started the summer of 1997.  Since then, almost 20 years ago I've had no relief of voices just constantly cutting on me.  There's no good cogontive therapy around here, but I'd love to get some.  Please don't get confused though, I NEVER "hear voices" that say direct orders like to hurt others or anything, they're just like those two muppets the jeered all the muppets on stage...I don't know if anyone else ever has had this "sympton" but I'd love to hear from you if you do.