Unbearable Price

I have been with my H for almost 11 years and we probably had more rocky years than happy ones.  For the past 3 years, during the EA which ended in a PA and illegitimate child he said things to me like "I'll always love you but I'm not in love with you anymore", "I think I want a divorce", "I know myself and my feelings aren't going to change", "This just isn't going to work for me".  All the while I was constantly praying and begging for him to commit to our marriage, commit to our family and try to keep working on things.  He has put me through a lot but I've never felt called out of my marriage.  Well, the hoping, wishing and praying has finally paid off.  He is finally committed to me again, committed to making our marriage work and sees the mistakes he made, the poor choices and the mess he's created.  My prayers were answered but HOLY COW- what a price I now have to pay.  Emotionally and financially.  The temporary child support order was received 4 weeks ago from her attorney and in the mail yesterday we find she has contacted the States Atty office for a deeper investigation into child support- basically so that she can get more money out of him. 
I could be really pissed off and furious at him- I have every right to be- but I'm letting it go.  I have found a new sense of peace about this situation.  I went to a Women's Christian Retreat this past weekend, not knowing what to expect.  I call myself a Christian, feel that my faith and relationship with Christ has grown deeper through this turmoil in my life but I didn't know how much He could really change me if I just asked for it.  I have been praying for months for God to give me strength and put some peace in my heart and he has genuinely answered my prayers.  I feel calmer, without knowing it, some of the obsessing thoughts have stopped and when they do come, I am able to easily push them away.  I have truly been able to give some of my worries and anxiety for the future, into God's hands.
This has been the MOST painful journey of my life and I am not even 5 months past D-day, so it's really just beginning.  I would NEVER have chosen this path for myself, nor would I ever wish this pain on anyone else.  But I can already see the blessings I have received because of it.  I will never be the same person again- but I think that is a good thing.  I know I will have a day, very soon, where I will again find myself in "the pit" and the emotions will drown me like a tidal wave but I will get through it.  So my advice for anyone needing it today is: PRAY!!!  Pray like your life depends on it- because it does.  Pray until you feel like God is sick of hearing from you but know that He is not, so keep right on going.  Pray specifically for what you want to see in your life and then wait for His answer.  He only wants good for you- He will bring you to that place.  I am almost excited to see what my future could be.